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PLANNING YOUR SPECIAL DAY
Your Engagement
A. Engagement Parties
- Traditionally hosted by Bride's parents, may be hosted by you and fiance'
- Other parties can be hosted by Groom's parents, relatives, or close friends
- Great time for both families to get to know each other better
Party Tips:
- Both of you need to attend all engagment parties
- Gifts are generally not given and should not be expected; If a guest does give a gift, graciously except and send a thank you note.
- Party may be a luncheon, brunch, dinner, or cocktail party. Any type party will be appropriate.
- Invite only guests you will be also inviting to the wedding.
- Invitations may be extended by phone, email, or as a written invitation, depending on time and formality.
- Thank the hosts of the party with a note and a small gift, flowers, or a dinner invitation.
B. Newspaper Announcements
- Contact the society editor of your newspaper to find out the procedures
- Make sure you ask about the picture, whether you can email, if so the format needed or if it has to be black and white, etc.
- If you send a photo be sure your name, address, and phone number is on the back
- If you want the photo to be returned, include a self-addressed stamp envelope
- You should not put your address in the announcement, as you will be receiving gifts over the next several months. No need to tip off a burglar.
- Engagement should not be announced prior to one year before the wedding and not later than six weeks ahead of the date.
C. Factors that influence the date you set
- Time of year you want to be married
- The size and formality of your wedding
- The availablity of the location you want (that may take up to a year to be available)
- Possibly your work schedules
- Consider these 4 things and review the list of things that need to be done for the wedding
- Make sure there is enough time to do them as stress free as possible!
You have the rest of your life to be married, so take your time and enjoy all of the parties, the shopping, the planning, and the excitement before that special day. This is supposed to happen only once in your life! Soak it all in and make it as stress free as possible. Then they will become memories that will always make you a smile.
BRIDE'S CHECKLIST
Six to Twelve Months Before
- Select a wedding date and time
- Make a preliminary budget
- Determine the type of wedding you want
- Reserve your ceremony and reception location
- Determine who will officiate at the ceremony
- Hire a wedding consultant, if you plan to use one
- Decide your color scheme
- Determine your wedding theme or style
- Determine the size of the guest list
- Start compiling names and addresses of guests
- Select bridal attendants
- Have fiance' select his attendants
- Plan reception
- Check catering facilities, if at a club, hotel, or restaurant
- Slect a caterer if one is necessary
- Select a professional photographer and videographer
- Select a RELIABLE, creative florist.
- Slect your dress and headpiece
- Announce your engagement in the newspaper
- Slect bridesmaids dresses
Four Months Before
- Make final arrangements for ceremony(deposits should be paid, contracts signed)
- Make sure all bridal attire is ordered
- Have mothers coordinate and select their dresses
- Register at a bridal registry in the towns of bothe families(This could be fun to include the groom)
- Order invitations and personal stationery
- complete the guest lists and ompile them in order
- Select the men's wedding attire and rseserve the right sizes
- Check requirements for blood test and marriage license in your state
- Make appointment for physical exam
- Shop for wedding rings
- start planning the honeymoon
- Decide where you will live after the wedding
Two Months Before
- Address invitations and announcements. They should be mailed 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding
- Finalize all details with caterer, photographer, videographer, florist, reception hall manager, musicians, etc.
- Order wedding cake, if not supplied by caterer
- Finalize ceremony details with officiant
- Make rehearsal arrangements
- Plan rehearsal dinner
- Plan bridesmaids' luncheon
- Make appointments with hairdresser
- Arrange accommodations for out-of-town attendants or guests(Many hotels will give a group rate discount;be sure to ask)
- Finalize honeymoon plans
One Month Before
- Have a fitting for your and bridal attendants' gowns
- Have a formal bridal portrait done
- Complete all physical or dental appointments
- Get blood test and marriage license
- Make transportation arrangements for wedding day
- Purchase gift for fiance', if gifts are being exchanged
- Purchase going away outfit
- Keep a careful record of all gifts received(write thank you notes immediately instead of letting them pile up)
- Make sure you have all accessories, toasting goblets, ring pillow, garter, candles, etc.
- Select responsible person to handle guest book and determine its location
Two Weeks Before
- Attend to business and legal details. Get necessary forms to change names on Social Security card, driver's license, insurance and medical plans, bank accounts; make a will
- Prepare wedding announcements to be sent to newspaper
- Reconfirm the accommodations for out-of-town guests
- Arrange to have possessions and gifts moved to your new home. Give a change-of-address card to the post office
- Finish addressing announcements to be mailed on the wedding day
- Give all musicians the lists of music for the ceremony and reception
One Week Before
- Contact guests who have not responded
- Give the final count to caterer and review details
- Go over final details wtih all professional services you have engaged. Inform them of any changes
- Give photographer the list of pictures you want
- Plan the seating arrangements
- Arrange for someone to assist with last-minute errands and help you dress
- Practice having your hair done to make sure it comes out properly, and determine the time it will take.
- Practice using your make-up in the same type of lighting you will have on the wedding date
- Keep up with the writing of your thank you notes
- Begin getting your clothing ready for the honeymoon
- Make sure you have your marriage license
- Make sure you have the wedding rings, and they fit
- Have a rehearsal with all participants, reviewing their duties
- Attend rehearsal dinner party. STAY CALM and enjoy yourself!
- If you can, get to bed early the night before the wedding. You will want to look and feel great the next day
On the Wedding Day
- Be sure to eat something. You have a big day ahead, and many brides have been known to faint
- Take a relaxing bath or get a massage
- Fix hair or have an appointment at least 3 to 4 hours before the ceremony
- Make sure nails are done(preferably before the wedding day-to avoid risk of dents or smudges). Allow plenty of time for makeup
- Have all accessories together
- Start dressing with plenty of time left to relax. If photos are being taken before the wedding, then have yourself and attendants ready about two hours before ceremony(photographer should arrive 45 minutes to an hour before the ceremony for pictures
- Have the music start 30 minutes before the ceremony
- Have guests seated. Five minutes before ceremony, have groom's parents seated. Immediately before the processional the bride's mother is seated and the aisle runner is rolled out....
After the Wedding and Honeymoon
- Send announcement and wedding picture to newspapers
- Wirte and mail thank you notes
Brides: Try to include your Groom whenever possible. This is the very beginning of making decisions together. Don't let him fit into the stereotype that guys don't care. They do if we give them a chance. Make him feel important and that his opinions matter! Let him sign his name to some of those thank you notes. Have fun!
GROOM'S CHECKLIST
Six To Twelve Months Before
- Purchase the bride's engagement ring
- Discuss with fiance' the date and type of wedding
- Start on your guest list
- Choose best man and ushers
- Start planning and making necessary arrangements for the honeymoon
- Discuss and plan with fiance' your new home together. If fiance' is moving in with you, start cleaning out closets, cupboards, and drawers to make room for your bride and wedding gifts
Four Months Before
- Shop with fiance' for wedding rings
- Complete your guest list, including full names, addresses and zip codes and phone numbers
- Check requirements for blood test and marriage license in your state, or the state you are being married in
- Slect and order men's wedding attire with your fiance'
- Finalize all honeymoon plans and send in deposits if required(don't delay-some resorts fill up fast in popular months)
Two Months Before
- Meet with officiant to finalize ceremony details
- Assist parents with plans for the rehearsal dinner
- Discuss the amount and the financial arrangements for flowers which are usualy the groom's responsibility
- Arrange accommodations for out-of-town attendants
One Month Before
- See that all attendants have been fitted and wedding attire has been ordered
- Purchase gifts for best man and ushers
- Purchase wedding gift for fiance', if gifts are being exchanged
- Pick up wedding rings. Make sure they fit
- Take care of business and legal affairs(add bride's name to insurance policies and medical plans, make a new will, add her name to joint checking account or joint charge cards). If you have both agreed to pre-nuptial agreement, have it drawn up and signed
Two Weeks Before
- Together with fiance', gather necessary documents and get your marriage license
- Arrange wedding day transportation
- Reconfirm accommodations for out-of-town guests
- If moving, give change-of-address card to post office;arrange to have utilities and phone service turned on in the new home. If not moving, finish cleaning and reorganizing your home; help your fiance' move her things.
- Have your hair cut
One Week Before
- Discuss the final details with fiance';offer to assist if needed
- Pick up and try on wedding attire
- See that attendants get their wedding attire
- Get your clothes ready and/or pack for honeymoon
- Reconfirm all honeymoon reservations
- If flying make sure you have the plane tickets
- See to it that you and your attendants are at the rehearsal and they know their duties
- Go over special seating or pew cards with ushers
- Attend rehearsal dinner. Relax and enjoy yourself
- If you can, get to bed early. You want to look and feel your best!
The Wedding Day
- Be sure to eat something in the morning
- Allow plenty of time to get dressed in order to be on time for the wedding(1-2 hours-you don't want to have to rush)
- Give the best man the bride's wedding ring
- Place the officiant's fee in a sealed envelope. Give it to the best man so he may present it after the ceremony
- Don't forget to take the marriage license to the ceremony, or make sure the best man will bring it
- Have the best man and maid of honor sign the wedding cerificate as witnesses
- Just before leaving the reception, thank the bride's parents, and say goodbye to your parents.
Grooms: Congratulations! You made it. Alone at last. Take part in the planning. It's your special day too. If your bride asks your opinion, give it to her. Sign your name to some of the thank you notes. Have fun and make it as stress free for both of you!
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